Current mood:

hungry

old people and laxatives
i have this day job (at night i become the renowned superhero and fight dr. evil) that i sometimes do on the weekends; i am the sampler lady. yes, that job that old women have at your local kroger and walmart and hand out food samples to everyone and maybe even sometimes threaten you with. there was this carb chef the great that was there demoing his low carb items who will have his show on pbs this january. i don't really understand this low carb diet that seems to be taking over the world these days; the food items contain so much fat. i do believe, however, it is a brainwashing maneuver, because everywhere you go these days you see a huge sign that says "low carb!" like it's the sun shining through a dense cloudy sky with birds and monkeys flying around. the other day someone asked me where the low carb cabbage was. i said "i don't think we have those yet" like an idiot. and then i hit myself on the head after he passed when it hit me he was joking.

either than standing on your feet and sending them into eternal pain, it's really nice talking to all the old people around you. they give all sorts of information, like who had a heart attack last week and went through pneumonia the last time they were on duty and taking laxatives. this one lady told a group of us old ladies how when exlax first came out, her grandmother thought they were candy so she ate the whole bag.

i have come to the conclusion i have a disease. and it is a very grave and serious condition. i keep on wanting to randomly hug cute old people. i am still working on a cure for it, however, the future looks bleak.